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Tesla’s weak sauce Robotaxi announcement rehashes old promises with better concepts

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Tesla’s Elon Musk took the stage at Warner Bros. studios to debut the long-awaited Robotaxi concept, and also showed off something called a Robovan. Here’s what you missed.

Tesla Robotaxi

If you enjoyed sci-fi growing up, on the surface the Robotaxi – and the whole announcement – is pretty cool. But for those who have a fully-developed frontal lobe, you’re likely going to have questions.

The Robotaxi looks a bit like a Volkswagen XL1 was mixed with a Cybertruck and Model 3 in some freakish lab experiment. It has no steering wheel and is designed to carry two people in comfort wherever they want to go.

Musk referred to the technology as “Unsupervised Full Self-Driving,” and that you’d be able to take a nap in the vehicle and wake up at your destination. It does this utilizing the current suite of sensors that currently ship on Model 3 and Model Y vehicles, which means it is a vision-only system. Though for the Robotaxi itself, Musk claims the company is going to put in an oversized processing unit to handle it all.

The Robotaxi was a fully-functioning demo, at least allegedly. Several vehicles ferried journalists and superfans around a set on the Warner Bros. lot, in an extremely controlled environment. Geofencing isn’t a new concept to autonomous driving, and is in fact a way to make autonomous driving safer, but it’s also unclear if the vehicles were driving themselves or controlled somewhere else. Following a pre-described route like on a train track doesn’t necessarily prove anything, but it does make for a good demo.

Musk claims that with Robotaxi, the cost per mile will be between 5 and 10 cents in the future – a number he seemed to make up on the spot – and that people would be able to purchase their own Robotaxi for $30,000 or less.

But Musk also claimed that a fleet of Robotaxis would negate the need for parking spaces, which doesn’t make sense because if everyone has a personal Robotaxi then it’s not really a taxi. Is it?

He told the audience that they’ll be available by the end of 2026, though his tone indicated that we should take it with a grain of salt. Considering he plans on having a vision-only system on current hardware in less than 2 years, taking his claims with a grain a salt is exactly what you should do.

“Unsupervised Full Self Driving”

Allegedly coming next year in California and Texas, “UFSD” will allow for current Model 3 and Model Y owners (and eventually S and X owners, though it felt like an afterthought) will be able to drive in unsupervised mode. We’re not going to bore you with the specifics of SAE autonomy modes, because Musk never references them. He just says that you’ll be able to use your car in this unsupervised mode sometime next year.

Earlier in the presentation he said that this unsupervised mode is something you could take a nap with. That means that supposedly next year people will be sleeping in their cars on the motorway, driving at motorway speeds, with only visible light cameras making sure they don’t die and don’t kill anyone else on the road.

via GIPHY

Robovan

The surprise of the evening was the introduction of the Robovan. This futuristic-looking people carrier is designed for people who can’t own a Robotaxi, or for people who need to haul around more than two people at a time. Aside from the obvious safety issues of not having windows for people to escape from in a crash, it looks like something that you’d see in Gotham City and not in the real world.

When talking about it, Musk doesn’t call it a ro-bo-van, but a ro-bovan. It’s like when a Trump supporter intentionally mispronounces Kamala Harris’s first name. It’s no wonder they get along so well.

Wireless charging

Musk said that on Robotaxi there’s no charging port at all, and that it would be charged utilizing wireless charging. This is the only realistic claim Trump made during the entire presentation. Wireless charging already exists, and mainstream adoption is close to becoming a reality. Since a Robotaxi operates on its own, it can easily seek out and find a wireless charging pad to use. It still seems odd that for personal use it wouldn’t include a charging port, but wireless is pretty versatile.

Optimus robots

Updated robots also came walking out during the show. They mingled with the crowd (with handlers right next to them), and they were apparently serving drinks. They also provided a very creepy dance show in a gazebo for people who were there. It was all very weird.

Musk claims everyone will have a robot, and that if you don’t have a robot you’ll want one. It’ll cook, it’ll clean, it’ll walk the dog. A robot for the masses could be an interesting concept, but then Musk says it’ll cost $30,000. If he thinks a large majority of people can afford this, he truly is out of touch with reality.

This author once met R2-D2 at a Star Wars after party. Nearby was a representative from Disney watching over things. Not to spoil the magic, but that employee also controls R2-D2. They do a great job at hiding what they’re doing, because they don’t want to ruin the magic. And to be honest, even knowing that it’s still fun to interact with the robot, but that’s what these Optimus robots reminded me of. With so many handlers around, it’s hard to believe that they were acting on their own and weren’t be directly controlled by the people with them. That’s fine, but it’s not yet what Musk is promising.

Overall

Many of Musk’s claims about autonomous taxis is something that isn’t new. The idea of saving parking spaces, reducing time in traffic, and so on and so forth are claims made in the mid-2010s. None of that was new, and none of it addresses the realities of transportation needs in 2024.

Wireless charging will be great, and it’ll be a nice addition to Tesla’s vehicles. But if it sounds like we’re being overly critical and not taking Musk’s claims at face value, it’s because we are and we aren’t. A $30,000 taxi that people will own personally, but somehow be used by everyone, that’ll be fully-autonomous so you can sleep, with a visible-light camera-only system, with hardware that’s available today, is a claim that has to be seen to be believed.

The man can’t even start a presentation on time (some say it was a medical emergency while others say he was livestreaming Diablo). How are we supposed to believe he’s going to be able to accomplish all of this on this schedule? Especially when he’s already stated that 1 million robotaxis would be on the road by the end of 2020. That was four years ago.

  • Chad Kirchner

    Chad is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Destination Charged. He has nearly 15 years of experience in the automotive industry, working for a variety of publications in both print and online. He was also the co-founder of EV Pulse, another site devoted to electrification in automotive.

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